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New drops for Athletic and Crew, early access, and the occasional inside joke. No spam.
You bagged it, HEPA'd it, wiped it, and wiped it again. Then you waited on the lab like everyone waits on the lab. This shirt is for the day the air samples came back clean and nobody found dust on top of the door frame. No frustrating phone call. No second visit. Just a pass, first time out.
A small cassette-check icon sits on the front chest for those who know. The back is the full brag: a large parody clearance report with line-item results, checked boxes, and a gold seal stamped across the bottom that reads PASSED CLEARANCE. FIRST TRY. Wear it to the next containment teardown. Let the new guy ask.